Reflections

Her

Zsófia Szabina Gávris


There she is, the woman who knows what she wants and what she does not want. She is determined and seems confident in her choices. And just like that, she’s probably predestined to make the correct decision…right?

I honestly don’t think so, or at least I don’t believe so. She must have that question mark in herself everyday: whether she should choose herself or everyone else instead. Because that question is what drives many of her decisions, from the back of her mind. For that woman, her environment had always been a priority. For such a long time she was the lover, the sister, the advisor, the listener. For some, her words were the wisdom in the land of confusion. She proved to be the island of calm on the distempered sea of chaos. She loved this environment, and I believe she still does. But, you know, what changed was her perspective towards herself. It became clear to her that she had to pamper her soul and maintain her wellbeing in order to be able to give a little piece of herself to her surroundings (in this case, her loved ones, friends, peers etc.). She realized that she could not go on anymore without loving herself. And loving yourself starts with choosing yourself. Some might say choosing herself is selfish, but if she gives all her love, sensitivity and care away, what remains for her? What remains from her towards herself? If not she, then who is going to cultivate and nourish her soul?

In case you wondered what the moral of the story is or what happened to her: Well, what happened was that she chose herself. She started learning; learning about herself, learning to love herself and to just be there for herself. She spent more time with herself. In fact, she did not isolate herself from any of her friends or loved ones; she just simply made time for herself, and herself only. She prioritized mental wellness over worrying and giving too much. She respected her own borders and made sure that no one disrespected those. But most importantly, she prioritized her peace. That inner peace was what made her the woman she had already been, but this time it was her, really and eternally.

And there she is, the woman who knows what she wants and what she does not want. She is determined and confident in her choices. And just like that, she knows she’s predestined to make the correct decision. There I am.

Dreams or Comfort?

Eszter Aletta Hevesi


Finally achieving something we have dreamt about for all time sounds easy in thought. Gradual but grand steps on a linear path. Getting quick results and keeping the result forever without maintaining it in any way. Sounds so easy that you would start it right now? But to be honest, it is completely untrue.

You can only achieve something by sacrificing things you have now. At least your time and energy, and we are not talking about your leisure time when you can’t think of anything else to do. You have to sacrifice your time with your family and friends. sometimes even your time for yourself. Sounds a bit harsh, doesn’t it?

The other key factor is consistency: if you are truly committed to your goal, you will think about it 24/7. On the bus, at class, during mealtimes, everywhere you go. It will be your distraction from the things you are obliged to do.

Being in this “zen state” for a long time will bring out your darker side too: you will get to know yourself better than anyone else, which will result in losing connections that seemed like your whole world before. Some people won’t understand your commitment to your goals and will leave you behind, since you don’t hang out with them as often as you used to.

Against all of these drawbacks, I only have one benefit: when you finally achieve your goal, you will be able to look at all of your comfortable past friends and people who tried to hold you back, and show them that your sacrifices paid off so much more than all of those empty hangouts and fake friendships that you were living in.

Should She Do the Assignment?

Eszter Klára Szabó


She had an important decision to make… Should she do the last Civilization assignment of the year—writing about a situation in which someone makes an important choice—and ‘waste’ her so-precious time on it, or just leave it be and do the tasks she considers more important?

As the school-leaving exam was rapidly approaching, she became more and more stressed about it. All she did day and night was study biology, math, Hungarian, and history. She did not care for the other subjects, especially not civilization. It’s not that she ever disliked the subject – in fact she thought it was very interesting and a fun thing to learn about when one has the time. But she didn’t have time.

However, she had to take into consideration all the pros and cons she could. If she decided against doing the assignment, it might negatively affect her grade at the end of the year, which might lead to her having fewer points, and also, isn’t it just embarrassing to have a five in all subjects but civilization? No, no, no stop focusing on the negatives. It could be also considered writing practice, which might be beneficial for the upcoming English test, but if we’re on the topic already, why would I do this and not an actual English essay? Takes the same amount of time, and one is much more practical than the other. Another thing is – there was no previous time when she did not complete an assignment just because she didn’t feel like it. It’s such a lousy excuse. Life doesn’t always go the way we want it to; we have to fulfill our responsibilities even if they suck.

The end of the story… well it’s pretty easy to guess, isn’t it? Perfectionism won again.