Zsófia Szabina Gávris

There she is, the woman who knows what she wants and what she does not want. She is determined and seems confident in her choices. And just like that, she’s probably predestined to make the correct decision…right?

I honestly don’t think so, or at least I don’t believe so. She must have that question mark in herself everyday: whether she should choose herself or everyone else instead. Because that question is what drives many of her decisions, from the back of her mind. For that woman, her environment had always been a priority. For such a long time she was the lover, the sister, the advisor, the listener. For some, her words were the wisdom in the land of confusion. She proved to be the island of calm on the distempered sea of chaos. She loved this environment, and I believe she still does. But, you know, what changed was her perspective towards herself. It became clear to her that she had to pamper her soul and maintain her wellbeing in order to be able to give a little piece of herself to her surroundings (in this case, her loved ones, friends, peers etc.). She realized that she could not go on anymore without loving herself. And loving yourself starts with choosing yourself. Some might say choosing herself is selfish, but if she gives all her love, sensitivity and care away, what remains for her? What remains from her towards herself? If not she, then who is going to cultivate and nourish her soul?

In case you wondered what the moral of the story is or what happened to her: Well, what happened was that she chose herself. She started learning; learning about herself, learning to love herself and to just be there for herself. She spent more time with herself. In fact, she did not isolate herself from any of her friends or loved ones; she just simply made time for herself, and herself only. She prioritized mental wellness over worrying and giving too much. She respected her own borders and made sure that no one disrespected those. But most importantly, she prioritized her peace. That inner peace was what made her the woman she had already been, but this time it was her, really and eternally.

And there she is, the woman who knows what she wants and what she does not want. She is determined and confident in her choices. And just like that, she knows she’s predestined to make the correct decision. There I am.