Muter3000

Ahmet Yavuz Kaya


It’s a story about a crazy scientist grandfather and Jimmy, his grandchild.

Jimmy: Grandpa! Please do my science homework!

Grandpa: Jimmy, how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t enter my workshop without my permission. I almost broke my new invention.

Jimmy: What is that helmet, Grandpa? It looks like a coke box on a helmet.

Grandpa: Well, I call It Muter3000. In a simple way, it’s something like a real-life mute, like you young people do on social media, but if I have to explain in a more scientific way—

Jimmy: No, I don’t need to know any more.

Grandpa: Aaa! You younglings’ impatience has made me a misanthrope! At least listen to what you asked for.

Jimmy: Fine…

Grandpa: Then, it propagates waves in a 10-meter radius to people’s brains in that area and prevents their brain’s communication and pattern recognition areas from making any movement or contact related to the person who wears it. So I don’t have to deal with people when I am not in a good mood.

Jimmy: But if there are some  people whom I want to exclude from the blocking, what will happen?

Grandpa: Did you really think that I never thought of that? Well, Jimmy, as you said before, that part which resembles the “coke box,” it’s a biological filter that you have to put something into, like a few hair strands, etc. For example, if Nietzsche were resurrected somehow with science, and if I put in the filter some piece of his cool mustache that was stolen from his coffin, I would be able to communicate with him even if I were wearing Muter3000.

Jimmy: Who is Nietzsche, anyway? Never mind, drop it. How did this Muter3000 come into your mind?

Grandpa: Oh, you will see. (He wears the Muter3000 and starts walking toward the door.)

Jimmy: Hey! I thought  you would do my ho— (Jimmy is stunned; he can’t move or appeal to his grandpa.)

At the front of the door, Grandpa smiles and says:

See you later Jimmy, Do your homework by yourself.