Something Even Stranger: Variations on “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”

Áron Antal


LYSANDER and HERMIA enter.

HERMIA
Oh, my dear love Lysander,
I got on this way here so tired,
Where shall we rest, my dear?

LYSANDER
Well my dear Hermia,
If you got tired,then
I must go to sleep as well,
‘Cause our heart and blood
Will be the same by next month.

HERMIA
Then here we’ll lie
Here next the river bank
Where you can rest
Your head on my breast.

LYSANDER
Hermia, don’t you think
That we should remain innocent!
Till the day of the marriage
I can’t do such perv things.

HERMIA
Shall it be as you wish,
Then here, have this
Sleep on the moss
Instead of my bosom.

LYSANDER
I got tired as you
So we shall sleep
To get the time passed
Until the marrie day.

They rest and fall asleep.

HELENA and DEMETRIUS arrive in the forest.

DEMETRIUS
You can’t outrun me, my love.

HELENA
You perv, leave me alone!

HELENA hides behind a tree.

DEMETRIUS
You can run, but you can’t hide!

DEMETRIUS exits.

HELENA
For my luck I can hide
So saving my own hide
From that jerk Demetrius.
I got so tired in the chase
That I must go to sleep here
Along this bank where
Demetrius can’t find me.

Falls asleep, not recognising that next to her lie LYSANDER and HERMIA.

ROBIN GOODFELLOW enters.

ROBIN
I searched for hours now
But could not find no
Athenian woman lying
On the ground.

He falls over.

ROBIN
What is this, oh,
I found what I have
Searched for all night
That Athenian woman
Oberon told me about!
I shall do what I’m meant
And squeeze this flower’s nect—

Squeezes the flower into Helena’s eyes.

ROBIN
I did what I had to
But just look:
There is some flower left.
So what should I do with that?
I think the best
Is to throw it away, alas.

Throws the flower away, and it lands in HERMIA’S eyes.

DEMETRIUS enters, searching for HELENA, waking up both HELENA and HERMIA; both of them see him first.

HERMIA
Oh my dear love, stranger,
I don’t know a way to say
Something even stranger,
But I feel true love for you!

DEMETRIUS
Who are…..

HELENA
Oh dear Demetrius,
I’ve been a fool
To reject your love!

HERMIA
What dare you say about
My lover, my dear stranger?

DEMETRIUS
My heart is meant for Hermia.
Leave me alone you strange
Woman, whom I just met.

HERMIA chases DEMETRIUS, followed by HELENA, who chases them both.

LYSANDER starts waking up.

LYSANDER
Hermia my dear, what’s
That noise I just heard?
Hermia! Hermia!? Hermia?
Where have you gone,
She must have thought
From how I acted
That I don’t love her
And ran away, leaving me here,
For some animal to eat.
Where did you go, Hermia?

Exits, to search for HERMIA.