Zoltán Széker
One day a man went into the grocery store to buy an elephant. The situation was very absurd, but it was not the strangest thing in the story. The man who was looking for the elephant was wearing a black suit and an old-school black hat. He looked like someone who had never gone to any store before, so the people there assumed he was a spy or maybe an inspector, to the delight of the shop asisstants.
The story began on the streets of London in a grocery shop on a gray, rainy day:
The man entered the store.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Good afternoon, sir!
MAN: Hmm.
He said only this, with a serious face, though it was covered with a black hat. The shopkeeper already figured out that he would not be a simple buyer, but she didn’t get upset, because she had to be nice to everyone who came into the store.
A few hours later the mysterious man was still looking for something. He was nervous; this could be gleaned from his way of talking to himself and using bad words.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Excuse me, but can I help you with something? Because I see you have been looking for something for a long time and thought I would ask.
MAN: No.
10 minutes later:
SHOP ASSISTANT: I’m sorry to bother you again, but are you sure I can’t help you?
MAN: Well….
SHOP ASSISTANT: Say anything, Here you can find everything you like. On this shelf you can find basic things, and here the ingredients of a good Italian dinner.
Ohh, I haven’t even mentioned the sweets here, and listen now.
Today you can get a 20 percent discount on everything.
What do you say?
MAN: Can you stop speaking just for a moment? Thanks.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Sorry, but I don’t understand why you are talking to me like that, when I’m just doing my job and trying to help.
MAN: OK. So can I tell you what I want to buy?
SHOP ASSISTANT: Yes, of course, but before that let me ask a question.
MAN: Yes, say it.
SHOP ASSISTANT: I think I’m a very friendly and intelligent person, so I’m good at my job, and most importantly I enjoy what I do. My day started really well, I sold a lot of things, now you came and I don’t understand what’s wrong with me, so now I feel bad about it.
MAN: Am I to blame for your having a bad day?
Since the woman was a sensitive person, she began to cry. But she quickly tried to collect herself, because a good shop assistant doesn’t start arguing with a customer and won’t have a bad day about it. The woman just cried and something happened that no one expected.
The rude, old man who hates lovely, smiling people suddenly hugged the crying woman.
And he said this to her (kindly):
MAN: I’m so sorry I treated you like that, I shouldn’t have done that. You are a good person and don’t cry, please.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Okay, thank you.
She became happy again and at last asked the question:
SHOP ASSISTANT: What can i do for you?
MAN: I’d like to buy an elephant.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Sorry, i didn’t hear it well. Would you repeat it please?
MAN: Yes, sure. E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T elephant.
SHOP ASSISTANT: We don’t sell toy animals, it’s a food market.
MAN: I feel we misunderstood each other. I would like a real elephant.
She burst out laughing when she saw that the man had said this seriously, so she stopped herself and started to take it seriously.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Why would you like an elephant?
MAN: Because I feel lonely, and unfortunately I don’t have any friends. I think I messed up something in my life.
SHOP ASSISTANT: No. No. You are a good person, you just didn’t get love from anyone. But today you get a friend.
MAN: Yes? Who is that?
SHOP ASSISTANT: Me.
The man turned to walk out the door and just said: Thank you so much!
This is an absurd story about a man who wanted an animal friend and got a real one.