Confidence and Insecurity

Buda Nedbalek

The attribute or feeling of confidence is something one gets whenever being assured about one’s qualities and abilities. It also may derive from acknowledgement and respect shown by others.

The attribute or feeling of insecurity is the exact opposite. We feel insecure when unsure about ourselves, whenever our capabilities are being ignored and left without recognition.

How come they often come hand in hand? The answer is more complex than we would think, since it varies from person to person. To find the solution to the problem, we have to dig deep to the root of the contradiction of feeling confident and insecure at the same time. The solution is the golden mean of being overconfident and extremely insecure. BUT.

First and foremost, we have to recognize that there is a problem. This comes at different ages depending on the individual. After reaching a specific age, we gain enough experience to be able to tell that there is a problem. Experience and admission are two key factors that are crucial when it comes to finding the root of the problem.

We admit that our confidence (the extent of which varies from person to person) is only a disguise for our insecurities. That our seemingly self-assured character is only something we wish we could call our true self, but something prevents us from fully becoming it.

Afterwards, we try to look for the causes of this inner conflict of ours. This is not a convenient journey at all. We open up old wounds, face past grievances and pain. Unfortunately there is a possibility of choosing the wrong path to find the cause. In that case, our journey becomes elongated and more insufferable.

We consider different, countless reasons but surprisingly enough, the answer is often childhood. It may sound hard to believe, but the root of such difficulties lies beneath the blanket of the idea of the seemingly regular childhood.  We think that toddlers and children of kindergarten and primary school are less likely to be affected negatively by certain events and circumstances than teens or adults. This belief is wrong. We are the most vulnerable at a young age. Children are exposed to their family, surroundings and much more without having obtained the necessary tools and ways to explain themselves whenever they have to. Finding the answer is painful. Battling with the reality of this answer is even more devastating. After opening our hearts and finding the cause of the contradiction in title, as far as I am concerned, we also have to base our identity in something greater, that is, God. Establishing a relation with God is something everyone needs, to come to terms with the hardships of the soul. Believing that we are accepted, acknowledged and taken care of by our creator is a state that cannot be reached by anything the world has to offer. This obviously does not mean that all difficulties vanish, but the battle becomes significantly more sufferable. All have a God-shaped whole in their hearts that can only be filled by Him.